Action-packed ‘G.I. Joe’ makes
for late summer guilty pleasure
By Ben Saylor
Insights
Published Aug. 12, 2009

I wanted to hate “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.” I really did.

I mean, this is a movie that, in the run-up to its release, seemed to possess all the right ingredients to make a film snob like me turn his nose up in disgust. There was the trailer, which made the movie seem like a corny, thrill-free bore. Then came distributor Paramount Pictures’ decision to withhold the film from critics’ screenings, nearly always a bad omen.

With all of this in mind, I smugly took my seat last Sunday to take in “G.I. Joe.” A little more than two hours later (counting previews), I walked into the blistering afternoon sun in a state of shock.

Now, don’t get me wrong. “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” is not a good movie. In fact, from an artistic, film snob standpoint, the movie is indefensible. And yet, despite the film’s myriad flaws (indeed, sometimes because of them), I found myself enjoying “G.I. Joe” more than the majority of the other “popcorn flicks” I’ve recently subjected myself to. If I were 12 years old, this would probably be my favorite movie.

Lee Byeong-heon and Ray Park in Paramount Pictures' G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. (Photo by Frank Masi/Paramount Pictures)

Based on a toy line from Hasbro (just like Paramount’s abysmal “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”), “G.I. Joe” tells the story of an elite, international unit of soldiers who must take action when evil arms magnate (is there ever a benevolent arms dealer in the movies?) McMullen (Christopher Eccleston) uses NATO funds to build his deadly nanomite warheads and then steals them back in order to destroy major cities.

Aiding McMullen in his quest is the beautiful, pistol-packing Baroness (Sienna Miller), who just happens to be the ex-fiancée of Duke (Channing Tatum), a soldier who uses his knowledge of the Baroness to get a spot on G.I. Joe for himself and pal Ripcord (Marlon Wayans). They join crossbow-wielding genius Scarlett (Rachel Nichols, briefly glimpsed in “Star Trek” earlier this year), communications whiz Breaker (Saïd Taghmaoui), the silent, masked Snake Eyes (Ray Park) and the no-nonsense Heavy Duty (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) under the leadership of General Hawk (Dennis Quaid, acting like he’s being paid by the growl).

The acting of the film is generally one note; of the cast, Eccleston, Quaid and Wayans seem to be having the most fun, even if they’re not always the most fun for the audience to watch.

But no one remembers the acting from a movie like “G.I. Joe.” What they remember (if they remember anything) is the action, which “G.I. Joe” delivers in spades. The film’s threadbare plot allows plenty of room for action sequence after action sequence, from the opening firefight between U.S. soldiers and a Baroness-led squad to a climactic underwater dogfight. The highlight for me, however, was a chase in Paris, with Duke and Ripcord pursuing the Baroness in “accelerator” suits, hydraulic gear that makes the wearer run faster, jump higher, etc. This is the sequence that, if I were currently 12 years old, I would probably have injured myself trying to duplicate.

Make no mistake: “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” is a pretty stupid movie. But darn it, it’s also, pretty entertaining one.